Mind Map

Mind Maps are something I came across whilst studying for my GCSEs and they have stayed with me since then.
My English teacher, Mrs Morby, told us that before we begin writing a story, we need to plan it out in our heads and visually before we begin writing as it would help us provide structure.
For example, when I was writing the Titanic poem, there were certain areas I wanted to cover such as:

  • Origins
  • Why was it going so fast
  • Something about the people boarding it
  • Collision
  • Recent history

This helped me keep on topic and gave me different areas which I wanted to cover.
But Mind Maps have also helped me when it has felt like I have too much going through my head to even think straight. It has helped me visually see connections to different things that were going through my head and which I couldn’t understand.
I approach Mind Maps in relation to Mental Health as though it was a spiders web.

11697-H8-831 W10

At the centre of the web is me. My life. And from it there are branches that go off into different areas of my life. The big areas from which everything else is connected. E.g. Work, Health, Home etc.

The Web pt2

From here I can break things down even more into the image you can see above. I can then see the bigger picture of what is going through my head and from here I can make connections. E.g. I enjoy outdoor photography so I can make a connection between it and my physical health as it means I have to get out and walk, which has a positive impact on my life.
At the same time I can create a box relating to my PTSD and draw connections to anywhere else in my life that it can be connected.

Connections
Suddenly this nice spiders web is no longer orderly and structured, but has connections that link different areas and it becomes quite messy.
But it does help me see those connections and through self-awareness I can either challenge those beliefs or I can pick an area to work on improving.
E.g. Coping = self-harm = physical pain = impact on my physical health as it takes time for my injuries to heal and I feel I need a way to justify them to people who may query them.
In the past I have had to do a web, such as that for my PTSD, in other areas of my life to see what the relationships are between the different groups and where those connections not only are but where they also lead.
So in the end I have an overall picture but also a more detailed picture of each specific area of my life.
Doing it this way has shown me just how complex mental health can be and how it can drastically affect different areas of my life which were seemingly unconnected. But that PTSD has its tendrils linked to every aspect of my life and personality. It’s impossible to untangle it without completely changing the person whom I am today.
In fact, the only way to remove it is to go back in time and stop my dad from being murdered; then I would be a completely different person and we delve into the realms of “what ifs” and that road only leads to pure speculation without any concrete evidence or impact on my life today.
These diagrams are just examples and simplifications of what my life is like.
Any questions, just ask πŸ™‚

Published by

CelticWolfe

I am someone who has spent the last 30yrs living with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) as a result of being a Victim/Survivor of 'The Troubles' in Northern Ireland. I am a fossil collector, avid reader, writer and photographer. I enjoy spending time with my family and spending days, and nights, out exploring the wonders of this little Emerald Isle.

6 thoughts on “Mind Map”

  1. This isn’t exactly on topic, but do you think it’s possible to have more than one case of ptsd? So my friend sent me a text yesterday and showed me a Pic of a Facebook post. It was my old pastor who also “counseled” me, but 3 years later I am still pissed as hell at him for what he did. Besides all the other BS in my life, seeing that picture made me so mad. I think I replied I hope he got run over by a tractor because he moved to the country. Ugh, I hate him. And rationally, it makes little sense. Why do I hate him so much?? Maybe because while I was in his church, he caused me to think I was a terrible person and all my mental health issues were from sin. Or he stalked my Facebook page and then made me answer for things I posted that he deemed sinful. Or how he told me that I should be happy my brother wasn’t suffering in hell as much as Hitler. When I left, I was emotionally and physically sick and he called me to pump me for info on a church member. So seeing his photo made me want to be homicidal. Not normal, I know but I can’t deal with all of those people or that church or even a text telling me what they are up to.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I personally think that once you have PTSD you are more sensitive to the triggers that caused it in the first place. Trauma is trauma regardless of the source.

      I’m sorry to say but if this pastor done to me what he did to you then I would be as pissed as you are. Sounds like some of the things he did (stalking your FB etc) could be illegal on the grounds of harassment, abuse and stalking. And it’s downright intrusive into your privacy!

      The anger you are feeling is entirely normal and it is something I can empathise with. My life was traumatised by family decisions in the years after my dads murder. So for me my PTSD may have started with my dads murder, but for the next 15+ years my life was hell and I prayed for death.

      You suffered 2 drastically traumatic events within several years. 1st was finding your mum. That would have triggered PTSD in itself. Then a few years later you were traumatised again by your brothers suicide. Flashbacks and other triggers such as this dickstick member of the clergy just made things worse for you.

      It’s because of idiot members of the clergy that I turned my back on Christianity and converted to Paganism, where I feel much happier and more accepted.

      I know who killed my dad and I know he will never serve a day in jail for his crime. He is still free, saw his family grow up, and doesn’t care for those family who still live. He didn’t care that he shot my dad in the head in front of his kids. I’m still being affected by his crime in unexpected ways, even to this very day; and I feel he is continuing to wreak havoc on my life.

      I dreamed of horrific ways to torture him and when I was at my worse I would have killed him if he was brought before me and I had a gun in my hand. I don’t feel guily for these thoughts as I never acted upon them.

      I am so sorry you have had to go through all this 😦

      Your reaction is perfectly normal so please don’t feel guilty for the anger and pain you feel πŸ™‚

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      1. That’s awful. How did he get away with murder??? I think most people wouldn’t deal with that all that well.

        I left the church almost 4 years ago now. I tried to go back but there’s too much emotional damage. And anyway I realized how it was damaging me. So I’m done with church and religion. If there’s a God, I’d hope he’d understand. I feel blasphemous to this day saying stuff like that but it’s how I feel.

        I’m sorry for your losses and trauma. That all sounds so hard! Have you ever done that EDMR therapy? I think that’s what it’s called. I heard about it and it sounds promising. Do psychiatrists diagnose ptsd or therapists? I see a therapist but it’s mostly talk therapy which is extremely helpful but it’s not a diagnosis at all. Not sure if it would help.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Lack of forensic evidence. Was during ‘The Troubles’ in Northern Ireland.

        Religion is complicated lol. But I believe we do what we need to do to survive.

        Therapists need to diagnose PTSD, I believe. They have their place and can help. Like being in a dark tunnel and you stand beside them whilst they hold the only torch. This is your journey and they are there to guide us. But we have to take those steps.

        I’m proud that after you realised the church was causing you damage you took the brave step to leave. Couldn’t have been easy to make that decision. You have a huge amount of internal strength. Be proud of it πŸ™‚

        Never heard of EDMR.

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  2. Hi sir πŸ˜‰
    Here that’s wat I was telling u about today, emdr I had it myself found it brilliant help
    go through the route of your local gp or mental health clinic psychiatrist- psychotherapist route to find good therapist to help you use and get best from it…its been the only thing I found helped and tried many things over the years.
    Hopefully catch up way u again maybe another day,
    gluk sir riteo πŸ˜‰

    Like

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